


Day 15: Scars

by MadhouseVagabond



Series: Whump-tober 2019 [15]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Angst, FAHC, Fake AH Crew, Gen, Immortal FAHC, Ryan needs all the hugs, Scars, Self Harm, Whumptober 2019, battle buddies, day no. 15, immortal au, nothing graphic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-27
Updated: 2019-10-27
Packaged: 2021-01-04 19:10:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21202625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadhouseVagabond/pseuds/MadhouseVagabond
Summary: Jeremy is in for a shock while he helps Ryan after an encounter with the LSPD





	Day 15: Scars

Ryan was a mystery. He never talked about his past, always changing the subject or getting a faraway look on his face. He never got angry, or at least really angry, always reeling in his temper before he "lost control" whatever that meant. He was quiet and kept to himself mostly, only speaking when necessary.

Jeremy was determined to get the older man to open up, to have a full conversation for once. His curiosity would probably get him killed, but the lad refused to give up; besides, he'd already died more times than he could count another wouldn't make much difference. He'd spend as much time with Ryan as possible, making casual conversation and telling cheesy jokes or stories. Ryan never responded except for a few grunts and head nods or faint chuckles, still a win in Jeremy's book. He grew frustrated, thinking he'd never make any progress with the man, until today.

They'd been assigned to a heist together, a simple job that should've gone off without a hitch. Unfortunately someone had caught wind and alerted the cops to the two's activities, the following shootout resulting in Ryan getting injured when he pushed Jeremy out of the way of a bullet, taking it himself. Jeremy somehow managed to drag the bigger man to a car and then hastily drive them to a safe house where he radioed in and reported to Geoff what happened, being told that help was on the way but to do what he could to help Ryan.

And that's where he was now, skeptically looking down at the older man and hoping he wouldn't get murdered for what he was about to do.

"Hey big guy, don't freak out and stab me or anything but I've gotta take your shirt off to clean and bandage your wound. Just...try to relax I guess?" he said out loud, even though Ryan had passed out a few moments before.

Hesitantly he removed the bloodsoaked shirt from the man's body, hissing and staring at what he saw, eyes wide. Scars covered nearly every inch of the Vagabond's torso, some old, some new, some faded but all visible. It was both horrifying and fascinating.

"What happened to you Ry?" he breathed as he forced himself to start cleaning the man up. He wrapped the gunshot wound with bandages after cleaning and washing it, luckily the bullet passed through the shoulder somehow hitting nothing vital. The man would live.

A few minutes later Ryan started, a gasp escaping his lips as he jerked awake, looking this way and that almost like a cornered animal. His eyes fell on Jeremy, huddled in the corner looking at him, knees drawn up to his chest.

"J-Jeremy?" he stammered.

"What happened to you Ryan?" the lad asked, looking almost frightened, something Ryan disliked very much. He didn't want the lad to be afraid, especially of him, and his distress greatly upset Ryan.

"What do you mean?" he asked confused.

"Why are you covered in scars?" Jeremy asked and pointed a shaky finger at Ryan.

He looked confused again for a second before his eyes grew larger than dinner plates, head snapping down to look at his bare torso which he finally realized was exposed to the open air, and he felt his world collapsing. He shrank away, turning and hunching over, breathing hard before he remembered his back was also scared, a fact driven home when Jeremy audibly gasped.

"I-I had hoped no one would ever see me, like this," he admitted quietly.

"What do you mean? Ryan what's going on?" Jeremy asked, this time fear gone from his voice and only concern.

"I'll tell you, but everything will change. Just...don't change too much okay?" Ryan nearly pleaded.

Jeremy was taken aback. This wasn't what he was expecting. He'd never seen Ryan act this...vulnerable, never even had this long of a conversation with the man. His silence must've been enough for Ryan cause he took a deep shaky breath and let it out.

"You know how we're immortal, all of us in the crew?" he asked. Jeremy nodded and made a small acknowledging sound. "Well, I'm a little different than the rest of you."

Jeremy wasn't sure what that meant but he listened all the same, giving Ryan the space and time to speak his mind.

"I was born, many, many years ago. I'm older than most immortals care to admit, I'm one of the original immortals. When I first found out it was amazing, like being a superhero or something. Hell, I even tried to be a hero, whenever people needed help. But, that unfortunately didn't pan out and as you can see, now I'm in the life of crime and violence. Do you know how I got my Vagabond reputation?" Ryan asked.

"Your kill count?" Jeremy ventured to guess.

"That was a large part of it yes. But the other part was my cruelty, the threat of danger if someone ever crossed me or made me angry or took one step out of line. That and my years perfecting how to get someone to talk, well, it all added up. The thing is, I don't always want to be that way. It's almost like there's two of me living inside of my body, the Vagabond and me. When I'm him he takes over and Ryan Haywood ceases to exist, and vice versa. When I come back, Ryan that is, I remember everything. Everyone I've hurt, everyone I've caused pain to, every wrong thing I've done," Ryan paused to even put his breathing, reaching up and touching a raised scar on his right shoulder.

"These scars each represent someone I've hurt or killed," he said.

Jeremy gasped and felt his heart break. There were so many scars, Ryan must've killed more than he'd originally thought.

"Surly not all the scars are from self infliction, probably some from tussles with the cops or other gang members?" he desperately wanted it to be true, to give Ryan some sort of relief. The gent shook his head.

"Every time I've died the scar from whatever killed me fades, but for some reason when I mark myself the scars remain. They don't go away. But it's okay, it's a reminder," the gent said sadly as he reached for his shirt.

"Why do you punish yourself like this?" Jeremy asked. Ryan paused and hesitated, trying to form his thoughts into words.

"It helps remind me of what I am," he said simply.

"What, a killer?" Jeremy asked, to which he nodded. "Fuck that!"

Ryan looked up surprised at the sudden outburst from the younger man. He hadn't been expecting that and it threw him off. His confusion must've been written on his face because Jeremy approached and sat next to him.

"Listen to me Ryan Haywood, you may be violent at times, you may have killed people before, but that doesn't define who you are. Only you can do that, only you can decided who or what you'll be, not your behavior, not anyone else's opinions, no labels, nothing! You hear me? Stop kicking yourself and punishing yourself," the lad spoke firmly as he placed a hand on the gent's shoulder.

Ryan stared at the lad for a moment, eyes wide. He'd never been told these things before, never been told he was more than just his persona. It broke something in him and before he could stop himself he felt tears flood his eyes and he was pulling Jeremy into a hug, the lad letting out a squeak of surprise before he was hugging back.

"Thank you," Ryan breathed.

"Anything for my Battle Buddy," Jeremy smiled.

"Battle Buddy?" Ryan asked but refused to release Jeremy.

"Yeah, I mean, we're buddies now right? And we do battle so I just thought..." Jeremy stuttered.

"I love it! Battle Buddies," Ryan smiled and gave Jeremy a squeeze.

"Forever!" the lad agreed and smiled, hugging Ryan tightly back.


End file.
